Ed, Edd n' Eddy's Big Picture Show: With a RWBY Twist!
by SaurusRock625
Summary: During the events of the Vytal Festival, the Eds along with Penny, RWBY and JNPR take off on a crazy adventure that leads them to the ends of the earth to find shelter from Ironwood and his army. Just what does fate have in store for them? Find out here!
1. Chapter 1

_**Thank you, Roth Prime, for allowing me to write this spin-off story for The MisEdventures of RWBY and Ed, Edd n' Eddy! I hope I do you and the Ed, Edd n' Eddy/RWBY community proud with this story! Enjoy it, y'all and don't forget to leave a review and a jawbreaker on your way out! ON TO THE STORY, SHALL WE?**_

 _ ***I don't own RWBY or Ed, Edd n' Eddy in any way, shape or form!***_

* * *

 _ **The Ed-Venture begins! (Dammit, Yang…! You and Your Puns!)**_

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The door to the dorm room of team RWBY was abruptly burst open as the frantic members of Teams RWBY, JNPR and EEE ran in carrying suitcases of various shapes and sizes. They all began packing all of the essentials they'd need for their journey. And by that, I mean they were taking pretty much everything in the room.

Good thing all three teams had a sleepover before this whole fiasco started.

" **TROUBLE! BAD! PAIN!"** screamed a frantic Ed as he packed clothes, an unfinished model kit and a few packages of gravy.

As he took some of his clothes off of the toaster, he started toasting two slices of bread while everyone packed. Weiss tore some wallpaper off the bathroom wall and began to pull out various vials and cases of Dust and Dust Crystals, while Ruby started stuffing her packages of cookies into her backpack. Zwei ran up to Ruby and cannonballed into her bag knowing the procedure of such an event like this.

Eat the Oxygen Dust crystal if he needed air! Or bark really, really loudly if there were no Oxygen Dust crystals!

Blake tore a cabinet off the wall and began to shake it like a maniac as her stash of tuna cans fell into her own suitcase. Once that was done, she moved onto the bookcase and stuffed her collection of Ninjas of Love books into her bag. Yang packed tons of Ember Celica cartridges and some of her own changes of clothes.

Meanwhile, Jaune and Pyrrha focused on gathering things like food and toiletries for them. Enough for a month at least, if they rationed it out. Nora was packing grenades for her hammer along with enough pancakes to feed her for three days.

Ren even packed a few of his favorite books along with various herbs for medicine. Something was telling him that with their luck, they'd need this stuff.

The toaster dinged and Ed caught the two fresh pieces of toast before expertly buttering them and tossing them into the sock he'd used as his own suitcase.

"Here, hold this!" Eddy ordered as he gave Double D an empty suitcase.

Upon seeing the object used for packing, Double D started to tear up and began shouting at his friends out of fear and sorrow. Mostly fear.

"WE'RE FUGITIVES, EDDY! Are any of you aware of the consequences we're about to endure? All because of a complete misconception!"

"Wait a minute, where's Penny?!" Jaune asked in worry.

"I thought she was right behind us!" added an equally worried Pyrrha.

In response to this, Ed dug around in his sock and pulled out the aforementioned girl, who was now decked out in a dirty hobo costume complete with a fully packed bindel.

"Salutations, my fellow hobos!" Penny said cheerfully.

But Weiss wasn't NEARLY as cheerful about being a hobo as the cyborg was.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I'VE GONE FROM HEIRESS OF THE WORLD'S LARGEST COMPANY TO A HOBO IN LESS THAN A DAY!" Weiss cried in sorrow and self pity.

Ed stopped running around for a second as he saw shadows moving about outside the dorm windows. The others saw them too, as their eyes grew wide and fearful.

"TOO LATE!" Eddy cried.

"Quick, mine and Ruby's uncle Qrow's old dorm room!" Yang prompted.

Everyone quickly ran out the door and down the hall, but Ren and Nora weren't so lucky. They'd failed to turn in time and got flattened against the wall by an oncoming missile known as Ed. Ed fell to the ground afterwards, allowing the 'R' and the 'N' in JNPR to pry themselves off the wall.

Everyone else rushed down the hall with Eddy leading the charge, panicking as they thought the end was near. And judging from the scale of the situation, it very well might be.

Their eyes widened as the door that was in front of the two staircases that led to the upper levels began moving back and forth as someone from the outside was trying really, really hard to bust in. This was the scene that Ed, Nora and Ren happened upon. Everyone else was paralyzed with fear, but Eddy was quick to start running up the other set of stairs while pushing everyone else along just as the door burst open.

Our group of heroes and heroines regained their footing halfway down the hall and just kept running while screaming their heads off. But they skidded to a stop as they neared a door with several cracks in it and yellow police tape that said 'Keep Out' on it.

Yang cracked open the door and took a look inside, scanning for any hidden enemies. While she made sure the coast was clear, everyone else was still panicking and practically running in place as they anticipated something bad to happen.

"Yang, Ruby are you girls sure this is wise?" Blake asked.

"They'll never find us in here!" Yang answered.

Seeing that there was nothing to worry about, Yang rushing inside and began rummaging in the closet for something. Knowing that they were pretty much out of options at that point, everyone else ran in soon after. As Yang searched the closet, she tossed out a rubber duck, a lucky horse shoe, some corn that needed to be shucked, and finally…

"Ah ha!" Yang cried in triumph.

She pulled out some rolled up wallpaper and took Ed's tongue before using the boy's saliva as an improvised glue. She stuck the wallpaper to the outside of the door and shushed her friends before quietly closing it.

After turning on the lights, she and Ruby proceeded to lock the door using the various locks. A slide lock, a wooden bar, a metal latch, a chain, and finally a padlock over a set of crisscrossing chains. She and the others slowly and quietly stepped away from the door, but they were all soon brought into a giant group hug of fear courtesy of Ed.

"This is all YOUR fault, Sockhead!" Eddy whispered.

"MY fault?!" Double D whispered back before quietly adding "Funny is it how it's always MY fault when yet another 'amazing event' that YOU helped organize goes awry."

"Yeah, well, I didn't see you try to STOP me! You should've known it would go bad!" Eddy quietly fired back.

"Boy did it go bad!" Ed added in a hushed voice.

Ren and Jaune got between the three boys, knowing that arguing was only going to make things worse for all of them.

"Hey guys, this isn't the time to be fighting!" Jaune whisper scolded.

"Jaune's right. We can debate who's fault it truly is when we know we're safe." Weiss added.

"What's gonna happen to us, Renny?" Nora asked quietly.

Ren just closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I don't have an answer for that, Nora. The current situation seems rather hopeless." Ren whispered.

"By my calculations, there is a 99.99999 percent chance that none of us will make it out of this alive." Penny quietly added with much remorse. "And I didn't want to say anything… but I did."

All talking was ceased when everyone heard noises from outside. Looking around for anything that could be used in this situation, Eddy saw a glass on top of the fridge. He pushed Blake and Double D to the front of the door before removing Blake's bow and handing the glass to Double D. The Faunus and her human companion understood the silent message and got to work.

Blake pressed one of her cat ears against the door while Double D gently placed the glass against the door and pressed his ear to the glass. Even though they were sweating so much they were forming a puddle beneath their feet, they stayed focused on their task: listening for any signs of safety.

Penny tiptoed a little closer to her two friends, unaware of a slice of buttered toast falling off the back of her overalls and landing on the floor. A piece of buttered toast that Ed took notice of.

While this was going on, Eddy and Weiss had seeked shelter within the pockets of Ed's jacket, not presently caring about the lack of sanitation control. As Double D and Blake listened, they heard the voices of General Ironwood and several Atlesian Knights conversing about how they couldn't find any trace of our story's protagonists. Not even their aura signatures. The fact that Penny could hide her aura signature didn't help matters for them.

Just as it seemed like the source of their troubles was about to leave and look somewhere else, the silence was broken by a very loud crunching noise.

Everyone's eyes widened in fear as they looked and found where that crunching was coming from. Ed was eating the slice of buttered toast that had fallen on the floor, not knowing that the crunches would be as loud as they were.

Already knowing that their cover was blown, the trembling pair of Blake and Double D didn't even bother to keep the glass cup from landing on the ground with a loud clatter.

But they did leap back when the door started moving back and forth from the mechanized soldiers trying to bust their way in!

" **WE ARE NOT LONG FOR THIS WORLD!"** screamed Ed as he, Yang and Nora started running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

"The window!" cried Blake.

She opened the curtains, only to recoil back with even more fear as she found that it bad been blocked by layers of bricks. Ruby pushed her out of the way and started clawing at the window before they started backing up.

"What's with my uncle's team and these stupid bricks?!" Ruby asked in panic.

She and Blake nearly tripped over a throw rug, but this turned out to be a good thing.

"Everyone, look!" cried Ren. "This heat vent will lead to an escape!"

"Over here, guys and girls! Our lumpy mutated horsey will save us!" Ed shouted as he, Yang and Nora tried in vain to ride a stuffed camel.

Meanwhile, Ruby was trying to pry the grating of the heat vent off of the floor while the soldiers were starting to make progress on the wooden barrier blocking their way. First one of Ironwood's fists broke through, then another soldier's foot busted the door knob off.

" **RUBY, THE DOOR WON'T HOLD FOR MUCH LONGER!"** screamed Double D.

" **DON'T JUST STAND THERE, GUYS! DO SOMETHING!"** Ruby screamed back.

Knowing that this might be their only chance of escape, everyone else grabbed a hold of Ruby and started to help her pry the grate off. Well, everyone not known as Ed.

"Giddy up, horsey! Do not let your mutated lumps slow you down!" Ed urged the camel.

But he was launched back into a strange object on the wall when the rocking camel bucked him back. His body fell to the ground first while his eyes and eyebrow hovered in the air a little longer before following.

After much grunting and struggling, RWBY, JNPR, Penny, Eddy and Double D gave one last big pull as the grate finally came off the ground. Unfortunately, it hit Nora in the face and comically got stuck to her face via her eyeballs getting caught in the grate. Though this didn't cause her any pain or discomfort.

But as Yang took the first plunge, they all found a horrifying discovery.

"More bricks everyone!" Yang cried hopelessly.

But she and everyone else were suddenly grabbed by Ed.

"Oh, oh, oh! This-a-way, guys!" Ed cried.

The force of him dragging them all to him got the grate off of Nora's face, but they all soon were shoved in front of something else.

"Look!" Ed urged.

It was a glass window on a red case that had a small hammer on a chain attached to it. On the glass were some very important words.

"In case of FanFiction break glass?" Double D read.

"BINGO!" Yang shouted while breaking the glass with her fist. "Dad and Uncle Qrow are always prepared!"

She reached into the case and pulled out…

"A peanut?" Yang asked in confusion.

Ed moved his head closer to get a better look and came to only one conclusion.

"Short FanFiction." Ed said.

As the arm of an Atlesian Knight felt around for the locks on the door, it pulled on the chains a few times before it finally found what it was looking for. Undoing the latch on the door, they managed to open it just enough for General Ironwood to look into the room. And boy did he look mad.

"Let me through!" Ironwood ordered. "End of the line, criminals!"

His presence generated a fresh round of screaming, while the discarded peanut flew into Ed's mouth. It almost went down his throat, but Ed caught it just in time with his teeth. And while everyone else was busy screaming and panicking, Ed was actually using his soy nut sized brain for one of the few times he's ever done so in life.

He could feel from the amount of pressure his teeth were applying that the contents of this peanut weren't what he thought they'd be. Rather than a crunchy snack, the contents below the shell were something else entirely.

"It was just a tournament, Pyrrha! How could it go so wrong?!" wailed Jaune as he hugged his partner for dear life.

While any other day Pyrrha would blush and stutter at such an action, this was not the time or place.

"Jaune, the laws of probability can be a real mean…"

Pyrrha was interrupted By Ed's next words and actions.

"Shut my mouth!"

Grabbing his arm, Ed used himself as a human nutcracker and broke the shell of the 'peanut'. He may have damaged his teeth that way, but he revealed the contents of the nut to be exactly what they needed right now.

"Yang, look! A key!" Ruby said.

Yang took the key from Ed and held it in front of her. Her line of sight on the vehicle sitting in the middle of the room. An old and roomy retro van with a mostly yellow paint job with black and red flames and rose petals painted on the sides, front and back.

"It must be for Summer's old van!" Yang said in realization.

Even as the Atlesian Knights continued to whittle away at the door, Ruby and Yang couldn't help but think about how Summer was still keeping them safe. Even in death.

"But Yang, who KNOWS if that thing still runs?!" Double D asked as Yang got in the driver's seat.

"Get in, get in!" Weiss urged.

"Yeah, the light don't get any greener!" Eddy added.

Despite their doubts, everyone piled into the van and took their seats with Double D bucking up for safety reasons. In her nervousness, Yang's hands were trembling so much that she couldn't get the key in the slot.

"Come on, come on…!" Yang muttered.

Just as hope seemed lost, Yang finally managed to get the key into the hole and turned it to start the car. Only instead of roaring to life like it should have, it just kept sputtering and dying on them.

" **IT'S NO USE, YANG!"** wailed Jaune.

"It ain't workin'!" Eddy cried.

"The gas must've evaporated over the years!" Yang guessed.

The door broke some more to reveal an angry Atlesian Knight who looked like he could be related to Rolf somehow.

"My vengeance will be slow and painful, like papa's charcoal anecdotes, criminals!" he declared.

Finally, the door broke to pieces as Ironwood and his soldiers charged at them. Everyone except Ed started screaming again, while Ed did the one thing he does best.

Smash stuff!

Grabbing a hold of the sides of the van by the open windows, Ed put his last minute plan into action.

"I AM ED!"

Ed smashed his feet through the bottom of the van and started to run like the devil was on his tail.

"CHEESE AND MACARONI!"

The wall was busted open while Ironwood and several of his soldiers held onto the van. But when Ed busted through the wall leading to the outside, they were knocked off and sent crashing to the cold, hard ground below. Boy, THAT must really damage their pride.

"They're getting away, general!" said an Atlesian Knight who was obviously of a Private's rank.

As the three teams and their robot friend landed, they began to swerve out of control while doing a bit of property damage. But thankfully, Yang was able to somehow use the steering wheel to get them back on course. While the Atlesians continued their chase, team KRJ was watching from afar with looks of rage on their faces.

They knew that teams RWBY, JNPR and the Eds were innocent, and weren't about to let a stubborn fool like Ironwood throw them in the clink like a bunch of Roman Torchwicks!

Taking a deep breath, Rolf let out a loud whistle that attracted Roofus: Professor Port's prized Alpha Boarbatusk.

"Peel your onions, soldiers, and cry!" snarled Rolf as he got on Roofus's back. "There is no escaping a Son of a Shepherd!"

"Right behind you, man!" Kevin said.

Thinking fast, he got onto Yang's motorcycle, Bumblebee, and rode off with Johnny and Plank not far behind. Good thing Yang left her keys in the motorcycle again.

But watching from Beacon Tower, Ozpin, Glynda and the other professors could only watch as the chase continued with great humor and great fear.

"I don't understand! Why won't James just perform a proper investigation?" Oobleck asked.

"Because he's a stubborn, bull-headed fool of a man who only thinks with his fists instead of his brain!" Glynda replied angrily.

"We have no choice. For now, we'll keep watching and if things get too out of hand, we'll step in." Ozpin said.

Back with our story's main protagonists, the stress of everything was beginning to get to them.

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Double D said.

"Not in my mom's van you're not!" Ruby said, not wanting to get vomit on her mom's car.

All other conversation was halted when an Atlesian Soldier landed on their windshield.

"FREEZE! Pull over and come out with your hands up!" he ordered.

But all that did was make everyone scream some more. Ed also screamed as he began to run in a different direction. That's when a familiar voice rang through the air.

"LET HIM HAVE IT, BUDDY!"

The Atlesian Knight looked up with barely enough time to see a familiar hunk of wood hit him in the face and knock him off the car and into a garbage truck. More specifically where the garbage is loaded in.

"I'm hurt now…" he groaned.

As our heroes and heroines 'drove' away to safety, the Atlesians were hot on their tails with Rolf, Kevin and Johnny not far behind. The car drove off a ramp and landed on twin fence posts while Ed kept running in mid-air. But while this was happening, no one noticed an Atlesian Knight of the Sergeant Rank closing in on them with Rolf close behind.

Yang peered out the window to try and keep the van balanced on the fences, unaware of the danger that lurked close behind.

"GAH! So much undone! Unsaid! Winter and father will be so annoyed!" Weiss cried pathetically.

Eddy wrapped his arms around his girlfriend to try and comfort her, but they were all startled when Ed yelped in pain.

"YOWCH!" yelped Ed.

Turns out like all those years ago with Rolf, this Atlesian Knight chomped down on Ed's leg and was trying to pry him out of the car with his teeth. And by the looks of things, it's working.

"They got me, guys! I'm a goner!" exclaimed Ed as he was pulled further and further out of the car. "Save yourselves! Don't forget about me!"

Yang and Eddy looked back and forth between Ed and his slipping fingers, and made a quick choice as Ed's grip finally released.

"See ya." Ed said.

"ED!" yelped Eddy, Double D and Yang as they grabbed his arms.

The three friends struggled to pull Ed back into the safety of the vehicle. The Atlesian Knight and his cybernetic enhancements were making it very difficult for them to do so. But the Atlesian was soon blindsided by a very familiar Son of a Shepherd and his trusty Boarbatusk ramming into the soldier's motorcycle.

His grip on Ed's leg eventually loosened enough for the limb to slip out of his teeth, and allowing Ed's friends to pull him back into the car just as it was launched off the fences, over a dumpster and into the woods.

" **ROLF WILL HOLD THEM OFF, ED BOYS!"** yelled Rolf as he and the soldier rammed into the dumpster.

As teams RWBY, JNPR, EEE and Penny flew through the trees, they screamed in both fear and worry for their friend Rolf. They all hoped that he'd be okay, but knew that it was too much to hope for with someone as stubborn as Ironwood after them.

Finally, the car landed on solid ground in the city dump and started rolling along again. Ed once again placed his feet through the hole and began to run once more in order to gain some more distance. But what no one noticed was a familiar military general watching them like a hawk from above.

Glynda panted in exertion as she rollerbladed her way to Rolf in order to recover him. Once she got to their location, she began to check up on Rolf while Johnny caught up. He and Rolf knew they'd be a lot safer with someone like Goodwitch backing them up.

Now that begs the question: where's Kevin?

As the crew 'drove' through the city dump, they all started screaming and trying to regain control of the van as something rammed into the driver's side.

"OH, HELP ME!" screamed Ed.

"OH GREAT! NOW WHAT?!" Penny cried soon after.

The camera pans out to reveal Ironwood driving next to them on a military grade ATV, sheer ferocity and anger in his eyes. He rammed his ATV into the side of the van again, making them spin out of control before Yang managed to get them back on course.

"He's a maniac I tell ya!" Eddy cried in fear.

"Eddy, I believe that now is not an appropriate time for the general to have a psychological evaluation!" Penny said.

Ironwood drifted to build up speed and once more rammed into the side of the van, sending it flying into the air off a halfpipe made of trash. Everyone screamed while they spun in mid-air, but Jaune, Double D and Blake were green in the face as they tried not to puke.

The van landed and started skidding at an angle on its side, but Eddy was now running beside it as he held onto the steering wheel while Yang tried to get the darn thing under control. Ironwood is shown driving close behind, but Kevin on Bumblebee was quickly catching up. But so was someone else.

"RUN LIKE WELL WORN STOCKINGS, ROOFUS!" Rolf ordered.

Finally, Yang had enough of this sideways driving schtick and spun the steering wheel to the left to get back on four wheels. This pulled Eddy back into the van and comically got him cartoonishly tangled in the steering wheel.

"Sorry, Eddy." Yang apologized.

As the car got back on four wheels, our protagonists began to weave their way through a construction site.

" **PREPARE FOR ROLF'S WATER LADEN BOVINE BLADDER!"** yelled Rolf as the chase continued.

" **Plank's freaking out!"** Johnny added.

"Double D, ya got any bright ideas?!" Eddy asked.

"Maybe Blake has an idea?" Ruby suggested.

"Obviously our fearless leader has a plan!" Nora added.

But none of the aforementioned teammates could answer their friends. They were too busy barfing back up whatever was left of their lunches into barf bags. When they finished, they looked up to see a scary sight.

GENERAL IRONWOOD LITERALLY RIGHT BESIDE THEM!

"How do you like your faces? Fried or scrambled?" Ironwood quipped as he opened the driver's door.

"ED, THE DOOR! THE DOOR, LUMPY!" Eddy all but screamed as he dragged Yang to the back seat.

From where he was at, Kevin saw what was going on and his scowl deepened.

"Oh no you don't Iron-loser!" Kevin declared as he poured on the speed.

"Rolf will assist you with the military man flogging, Kevin!" Rolf declared.

Using his own strength and momentum, Rolf began to make himself and Roofus spin after them like a familiar blue hedgehog.

"Go, Rolf! GO!" cheered Glynda with Johnny perched on her shoulders.

After a brief struggle, Ed managed to close the door while Eddy locked it and every other door. Eddy then quickly began to roll up the windows, prompting Blake to yell something important.

" **Ed, fingers!"**

Ed brought his hands into the vehicle just in time for the windows to close. However, Ironwood abandoned his motorcycle and jumped onto the car. Then, using his aura enhanced strength he tore off most of the roof.

"Time for you criminals to be locked away for good!" Ironwood declared.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!"

Ironwood looked up to see Kevin and Rolf climbing up onto the roof of the car with him.

"You leave our friends alone!" Kevin ordered.

"Rolf will use your hide as a truss for Nana's goiter!" Rolf declared.

"Plank wants first crack at him!" Johnny declared as he climbed up.

"Whew! I really AM out of shape! I haven't felt that winded just from rollerblading before." Glynda said as she joined them all.

Naturally, the fear everyone was feeling cause some things to be done and said. Such as Yang and Ruby hugging each other for dear life. Or Nora kissing Ren on the lips, figuring this would be their first and last kiss.

"It wasn't me! Eddy did it!" Ed said as his head retracted into his shirt.

"In your dreams! It was Double D!" Eddy said.

He hid under some discarded pizza boxes, putting a fearful Double D on the spot. But as the sock hat wearing boy looked to his side, he saw something at the park that would help them escape.

"Um, excuse me. I'll be right back." Double D said, ever the polite one.

Everyone looked up in confusion as Double D reache out of the car. But that confusion soon turned to panic as Double D grabbed a hold of the merry go round, causing the car and everyone on it to go spinning real fast! Double D struggled to hold on until the right moment as everyone else began to fly off. Well, everyone that's not RWBY, JNPR, Penny or EEE.

"HANG ON, BUDDY!" cried Johnny.

But he, Rolf, Glynda, Plank, Kevin and Roofus were soon sent flying off as well. The last one to fly off was General Ironwood.

" **You bunch of juvenile delinquents ain't seen the last of me!"** yelled Ironwood as he finally lost his grip.

He was sent flying into the monkey bars and landed real hard on them. As if he wasn't in enough pain as it is.

Double D's fingers began to slip one by one until he let go of the merry go round, sending him and his entourage careening through the air while screaming their lungs out. As Ironwood tried to go after them, he stopped and yelled the only thing he could think of at that time.

" **DOOOOOOORRRRRKS!"**

He roared in rage as he looked around for Glynda and those three troublemakers, only to find they were all missing. He groaned in anger and pain as he decided to look for them later. He had other priorities right now.

Meanwhile, in Fort Port, team KRJ, team CFVY, CRDL and the Beacon teachers were regrouping and trying to figure out what to do.

"I can't believe this! They almost had 'em!" Kevin said, worry and anger clear in his voice. "We can't let this go, man! Not after everything those guys have done for Remnant as a whole!"

"But what can we do? Wait for them to come back?" asked a distraught professor Peach. "Because those poor children will never make it alone in those Grimm infested wilds! They'll die if they stay out there without help!"

Oobleck hugged the crying woman to try and comfort her, but it was Rolf who spoke up here.

"Shed tears no more, shy and reclusive Peach girl! For Rolf shall confront Ironwood and his toy soldiers and squash them like the parasites that infest Wilfred's tookus! This is Rolf's word! ...Dawg."

While everyone else was slightly confused by that statement, they pretty much understood that Ironwood was in for a world of hurt.

"They're gonna wish they'd NEVER messed with Coco Adel's friends!" Coco declared.

"I ain't goin' near that one with a ten foot pole, buddy." Johnny said to Plank.

That's when Plank and Johnny started to have a personal conversation. One that just might turn the tide of this battle.

"You what?" Johnny asked.

Plank explained his plan, and Johnny was immediately on board.

"You're reading my mind, Plank! Time to call in the special forces!" Johnny said.

He took a deep breath, and began to speak up and gain everyone's attention.

"HEY, EVERYONE! LISTEN UP! Plank's got a brainstorm!" Johnny said, getting everyone's attention. "Give it to 'em straight, buddy!"

Everyone turned their attention to the block of wood, not really knowing what he was gonna say. They didn't even know why they were taking orders from a piece of wood, but at this point, they didn't care. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

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 _ **Again, a huge thanks to Roth Prime for letting me write this! But what's going to happen now? What sort of crazy scheme has Plank cooked up? Find out next time on Ed, Edd n' Eddy's Big Picture Show: With a RWBY Twist!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Wow, It's nice to see that this story has caught the attention of so many people! I just hope you guys continue to read and review this story, because I have so many ideas for it that it's not even funny!**_

 _ ***I still don't own RWBY or Ed, Edd n' Eddy!***_

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 _ **On the Road of an Ed!**_

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Out in some kind of desert wasteland with more cracked ground than the was sand, the Rose Van landed hard before it started moving again as Ed kept running. Only now, it was at a slower pace. More of a light jog.

Yang took a moment to adjust her mirrors so she could see behind her, then turned around to see if they were still being followed. Eddy acted as an extra set of eyes and kept a lookout for a little bit before coming to the most logical conclusion. No soldiers after them means…

"HAH! We lost 'em!" Eddy cheered.

But as Double D and Blake looked back, neither of them were quite sure about that statement. This just seemed a bit too easy.

"How can you be so certain, Eddy?" Double D asked.

"Yeah, I mean they could have camouflage technology!" Blake added.

But Weiss just waved them off.

"Relax, guys, Atlas isn't anywhere CLOSE to that level of tech! We're fine!" Weiss informed.

"Yeah!" Eddy said, putting an arm around Weiss's shoulders. "And from here on it, it's nothin' but smooth sailin'!"

And it was… until the van hit a giant rock!

The impact caused the rock to tumble onto its side so that the car was now above the ground, while at the same time launching Eddy out of his seat. Then to add insult to injury, the van fell to pieces with the sound of a party horn, sending everyone to the ground with random car parts falling everywhere.

Ed's head popped out of the muffler, which he'd somehow gotten stuck in, and he gasped when he saw Eddy's three hairs sticking out of the car door's window.

Thinking fast, he ran over to Eddy while sticking his arm out of the side of the muffler and grabbing onto the knob that rolls the window up and down. Turning it counterclockwise, Ed rolled Eddy out of the window while said boy had comedically ended up as flat as a panel of glass. He fell to the ground and literally shattered before standing back up as if nothing ever happened.

He looked around a bit and growled as he got in Ed's face.

"Way to go, lummox! The ONLY rock for miles, and YOU had to hit it!" Eddy growled.

"Hey, it's not Ed's fault! If anyone's at fault here, it's YOU Eddy!" Yang said while defending her boyfriend. "You were the one who jinxed us! You said, quote: 'it's nothin' but smooth sailin'!: unquote."

While Eddy and Yang argued over who's fault it was, Double D just looked up at his seat. He was dangling above the ground since his seatbelt held, despite all that happened to the van.

"Seatbelts certainly are a trusted friend." he said to himself.

He foolishly undid his seatbelt and screamed as he fell face first to the cold, hard ground. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and looked at Double D, expecting some kind of reaction.

And they got one.

 **"I'VE FOLLOWED ALL THE RULES, LIVED A LIFE OF DECENCY AND PRINCIPLE, SO WHY DIDN'T I TRUST MY INSTINCTS THAT ONE DAY THESE SHORT-SIGHTED, SOPHOMORIC SHOW GAMES WOULD GO! TOO! FAR?!"** screamed Double D whilst flailing his arms and legs for emphasis.

Ed broke free of the muffler and swiftly hid behind Eddy and Weiss in hopes of avoiding his friend's anger.

"Double D's dark side makes my armpits sweat, Eddy." Ed said.

"What DOESN'T?" asked Weiss.

"Lost souls are we, ladies and gentlemen! Doomed for eternity!" Double D declared.

Feeling a bit faint, Double D lowered himself to the ground and stared up at the sky. He was both physically and emotionally exhausted from the day's events.

"Lighten up, Sockhead! Hasn't Eddy ALWAYS steered you right?" Eddy asked before adding "Don't answer that."

As he laughed, Double D was tempted to answer him. That is until Pyrrha brought up a very important question.

"What do we do now?"

"I don't know, Pyr. I mean, it's not like we can just join another Huntsmen Academy, since we've been branded as terrorists and criminals." Jaune said.

"Not to mention we lost all of our rations during that chase." Penny added. "Survival will be highly unlikely unless we come up with a plan."

"OH! OH! If I might partake in this chat, could we not join at the circus?" Ed asked before grabbing Eddy and Weiss. "Eddy and Weiss could be the world's…"

Everyone winced and looked away as Ed began using his cartoon logic to reshape his friend's bodies. And their cried of 'OW!', and 'HEY, STOP! IT DOESN'T GO THAT WAY!' didn't help matters. By the time he was done, Eddy and Weiss's ears were wide and flat while their mouths and noses had been stretched to look like trunks.

"...Shortest elephants! And you, Blake and Double D can be the clowns!" Ed finished.

"Wait, I'm not much of a comedian. Wouldn't it make more sense to make Yang the clown while I be the lion tamer?" Blake asked.

But rather than question his friend's statement, Double D actually started to ponder Ed's words. If they joined the circus, they'd near constantly be on the move. This would actually make it much more difficult for Ironwood and his Atlesian Knights to find them.

"I suppose one could get used to the confining nature of tights." Double D said reluctantly.

Once Eddy and Weiss fixed their faces, Weiss grabbed everyone and brought them into a group huddle.

"Talk about stupid!" she said. "If we have to go ANYWHERE, I know a place that's so out of the way, it's practically invisible!"

Double D looked troubled by those words. Where had he heard that before.

"Dare I ask?" Ren asked himself.

Seeing Weiss's expectant gaze, he decided to just roll with it.

"And…?" asked Ren.

"Yeah, Weiss! And…?" Ruby added.

The white haired girl broke the huddle and walked over to the discarded front of what was once a classic vehicle.

"AND… If Ironwood or any of his toy soldiers find us there, they'll be mailed back to Atlas on an assembly line!" Weiss declared.

"Where we goin' Weiss?" Nora asked excitedly.

Weiss gave one last smug look before saying some words that no one thought they'd EVER hear from her.

"MY BROTHER WHITLEY'S PLACE!"

Blake grinned but soon frowned at such a proclamation. She lost her bow during the chase and knows how most of the Schnee family acts towards Faunus. Who's to say that Weiss's apparent brother isn't also like everyone else in regards to Faunus Equality.

"Weiss, I have my doubts that your brother would offer US a place to stay." Blake said, voicing her concerns.

But her eyes widened as Weiss jumped on top of Ed's head and used it like a stepping stool. The grin never left her face, and that was what concerned her the most.

"What, are you kidding me?" Weiss asked. "We're kind of connected. Like twins. Brainwave stuff. In fact, he's talking to me as we speak."

She then jumped off of Ed, using his arms like a diving board and began to run off in a random direction.

"Come on!" she urged.

"Oh boy! Oh boy!" Ed cheered.

"Whitley's waiting for us!" Weiss exclaimed.

"Weiss's brother is SO cool!" Ed exclaimed as he ran after Weiss.

"Hey, wait for us!" Eddy said as he and Yang began to follow.

"Oh, for Oum's sake!" Jaune muttered.

He and his team along with Penny ran off after their friends with Ruby and Blake not far behind. But Double D didn't seem to be done here just yet.

Reaching into his sock hat, he pulled out his trust label making gun and began typing out a label as he walked over to the discarded rear bumper of the van. In his OCD ways, He had stuck a label onto the bumper. A label that reads 'Out of Order' and also acts as a beacon of some kind. Maybe not a homing beacon, but the kind of beacon that shows where you've been and where you're heading.

"There!" sighed Double D.

Satisfied with his work, he turned around and began to run off after his friends.

 **"Wait for me, fellows!"** he called after them.

Meanwhile at Beacon, Ironwood and his Atlesian Knights were packing some supplies as they tried to head out and find those 'criminals' as Ironwood called them. But little did they know, several people were heading to team KRJ's temporary dormitory to try and get to where Johnny said they'd need to be.

They'd BARELY managed to avoid all the soldiers that were standing guard and were now waiting for Johnny to give them the OK. Removing the shade from his desktop lamp, Johnny turned the bulb and opened the top to reveal a hidden red button.

Not wanting anyone to question him right now, he pushed the button and opened up a secret door in the wall.

"Just how long has THAT been there?" Glynda asked.

"Beats me. Plank and I just found it one day. But it's times like these that I'm glad we did!" Johnny replied.

Everyone followed him inside and began descending down a swirlingh staircase of… watermelons?

Getting to the bottom floor, they found that the chairs, the lamps, just about EVERYTHING in the room was made out of watermelons! And it astounded them to no end!

"My, what an ingenious use of produce!" Oobleck said in awe.

"More like such a waste of perfectly good food." Glynda said.

Johnny said nothing. He just pushed a button, and spotlights shone down on seven new chairs. One was made from a giant pumpkin, one was a giant peach, another was weaved from grapevines, one was a trimmed strawberry bush, next comes a palm tree stump, then a cherry tree stump, and finally we have a giant spaghetti squash.

Not wasting any time, Johnny selected his warriors and placed them each on a chair. He and Plank were on the two watermelons, Velvet was on the cherry tree stump, Cardin was on the squash, Kevin was on the palm tree stump, Glynda sat on the grapevines, Ozpin was on the pumpkin, professor Peach was on the… peach... and Coco was sitting on the strawberry bush.

Knowing exactly what to do, Johnny spun everyone else's chairs really fast drawing startled yelps from everyone before doing the same to himself. As a large computer screen turned on, the chairs sank into the ground while the computer showed what was going on above ground.

The top of a tree stump flipped up to reveal that Johnny and Plank were now decked out in new costumes!

"SHED A TEAR, 'CAUSE CAPTAIN MELONHEAD AND SPLINTER THE WONDERWOOD ARE HERE!" Johnny declared.

But now his Captain Melonhead costume was a bit more advanced. Thanks to some help from Double D and Ruby, Johnny's costume now had a pair of metal gauntlets and greaves as well as an armored chestplate. Even his helmet/mask was now like armor, all made in the pattern of a melon rind.

Johnny took a moment to listen to Plank and smiled at his longtime friend.

"You're right, chum! We're not alone in this endeavor! May I introduce…"

One tree stump flipped up to reveal Ozpin now wearing a suit of black and orange knight armor with a regal looking tattered cape attached to his shoulder armor. His head and face were concealed by a steel helmet in the form of a Jack-o'Lantern with a menacing face carved into it. His helmet had a golden crown on top of it, and instead of his usual cane, he carries a golden scepter with a stylized ruby carving of a Jack-o'Lantern on top of it.

"The Pumpkin King!"

Another stump flipped over to show Kevin wearing a helmet/mask combo stylized to look like half of a coconut, while wearing traditional samurai armor. He not only carries a katana blade, but he also has a pair of brass knuckles that have coconut carvings on each knuckle.

"The Coconut Crusher!"

With a startled yelp, the third tree stump flipped up to reveal professor Peach dressed in a totally different outfit. She was decked out in a black bodysuit with a platinum armored leotard over it, thigh high platinum boots that had high heels, a pair of gauntlets, and an eye mask with a peach on the top going over her forehead. There were even some peaches tied to a black strap going across her body from the left shoulder to the right hip.

"Platinum Peach!"

The fourth stump flipped up showing that Glynda was wearing something relatively the same as what she usually wore, only now she wears a purple armored bodysuit that resembles a dress, and she had grape vines wrapped around her lower legs, forearms and a feeder of sorts that looked like a grape vine stuck into the back of a gatling gun on her left forearm.

"Queen Wine!

Next up was Velvet all decked out in a sheriff's outfit that had several cherry insignias on it and a pair of revolvers in gun holsters on her hips. Even a shotgun strapped to her back, and a bunch of bags of cherries all along her gun belt.

"Sheriff Cherry Pit!"

Next to be flipped up was Cardin, but he was dressed in a slightly more sinister version of Johnny's Captain Melonhead suit. He had a dark purple tattered cape draped over his back and his helmet/mask hybrid looked more like a bronze squash. He also carries a spear with the spearhead looking more like a squash.

"The Gourd!"

Finally, Coco popped up dressed in a black and red armored version of the outfit that the Sailor Scouts in Sailor Moon wear, only hers is FAR more modest. For one thing, the skirt is longer stopping just above her knees and she's wearing black tights underneath. She wore a tiara with a strawberry insignia that looked sharp enough to slit an enemy's throat, and she wore red shin guards and black gauntlets over red gloves. She also wears red armor over her black shirt and her red skirt seems slightly armored and houses a hidden knife.

"And finally, there's Amazoness Strawberry!"

Johnny and Plank stood in front of them to complete the ensemble as he and his wooden friend struck a heroic pose.

"And together we're…"

"Don't say it!" Kevin ordered.

"We're…" Johnny started.

"Don't…!" snarled Kevin.

"We're…" Johnny whispered.

"I said…" snarled Kevin.

"The Fruit Bowl?" Ozpin asked.

"WRONG! We're the Justice Brigade!" Johnny finished.

Everyone looked themselves over, wondering how the heck they got in those clothes. But it was Velvet who asked the important question.

"Johnny, is this what Plank had planned all along?"

"Yep! Back in my world, we were a tag-team vigilante super hero duo calling ourselves Captain Melonhead and Splinter the Wonderwood. I wanted to bust this out at the tournament, so I had Ruby and Double D help me upgrade mine and Plank's costumes so we'd stand a better chance. But I had a feeling that something like this would happen, so I added in those extra themes for new costumes with new weapons and armor. The computer just scanned you guys for measurements and used the combat data it gathered from you to design your costume and weapons. I just came up with the names." Johnny explained.

He then held up his lifted a hand to the side of his helmet where some kind of communicator was, and pushed a button. A green lense popped out of the side as it beeped to life.

"Oobleck, Port, everyone else, can you hear me?" Johnny asked.

 _"Loud and clear, my boy!"_ Port replied. _"Am I correct in assuming that each costume has a similar communications device installed in it?"_

"That's right! We can talk to each other through them and communicate with you guys through the Melon Cave's central computer! We need you guys to be our backup should things go south." Johnny said.

 _"We understand. We'll relay any important information we come across and try to keep the situation in Vale under control."_ Russell said.

 _"Godspeed, Johnny the Wood-Boy. Give them one from Rolf!"_ Rolf encouraged.

Johnny nodded and turned off his communicator, retracting the lense as he did.

"Alright, team. First things first, we need to find out where our friends took off to and meet up with them." Johnny said. "I'm pretty sure they won't be coming back to Vale. Not after everything that's happened because of that stupid tournament!"

Glynda scowled at the mention of the tournament and what James had done to her students.

"I'm afraid you're right, Johnny. They'd most likely find a safe place to lick their wounds, so to speak." Glynda said.

"A great hypothesis, Queen Wine!" Johnny said. "And please, refer to each other by your aliases when we're in costume. This way, Ironwood and his goons can't deduce who we are so easily."

Everyone reluctantly nodded at that. Secret identities are such a pain in the behind.

"Anyway, those who are wounded often run and hide, right? So who's the ONE person that any of them trust, besides each other?" Johnny asked.

Coco looked thoughtful for a moment before she remembered something that Weiss accidentally told her during a sleepover.

"Weiss once told me that she has a brother. Maybe THAT'S where they're heading?" she suggested.

Johnny's face instantly lit up at that bit of information.

"ZOUNDS! That's gotta be it! They're going to Weiss's brother's place!" Johnny said excitedly as he gave Coco a quick hug. "Well done, Amazoness Strawberry! Let's hurry and head on after them!"

Johnny and Plank leapt off their stump, off a trampoline and…

 _ ***SMACK! CRASH-CLONKL-CLONK!***_

Ran smack dab into a fence.

Johnny struggled to pull his head free for a moment, but succeeded after the third pull. He skidded across the ground, but if his head's free then why is everything so dark?

"Holy toledo, Splinter! My melon vision, IT'S GONE!" cried Johnny.

While Johnny ran around like a chicken with its head cut off, the others facepalmed at their apparent 'leader's' stupidity. Glynda thought that she may need to give Johnny a little extra tutoring in deducing situation and remaining calm in the face of danger.

Johnny only stopped running when he heard Plank say something that snapped him out of it.

"Who's an idiot?" Johnny asked.

That's when he realized the problem. He turned his mask around and opened his eyes, making a mental note to fix that when all this was over.

Finally, he and the rest of his trusty Justice Brigade ran off into the sunset as Captain Melonhead shouted his famous catchphrase for the first time since his arrival on Remnant.

 **"IT'S MELON TIME!"**

Leaping from rooftop to rooftop, Captain Melonhead, Splinter the Wonderwood and their Justice Brigade began the long and arduous journey of finding Penny, RWBY, JNPR and EEE. One thing's for sure, things are gonna get a lot more hectic now that these jokers are on the loose.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! And I bet y'all didn't see this coming with more fruit and vegetable themed heroes entering the battle! Let's see where this goes, shall we?**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**As you're all no doubt aware, we've all been having problems when updating our stories. It seems as though this error is a persistent one, as I've been having this problem for a few days now. If you all could go back to my List of Crossovers story and review the three new chapters I posted on that, it would be most appreciated. Now, ON TO THE NEW CHAPTER, SHALL WE!**_

 _ ***I still don't own RWBY or Ed, Edd n' Eddy!***_

* * *

 _ **Ironwood the Hog Whisperer… NOT!**_

* * *

Out in the desert where our heroes and heroines had been once before, we now see General James Ironwood and two of his Atlesian Knights riding along on poor Roofus, who they hog-napped and are now using as a pack mule! All three of them are now dressed like desperados from those old western movies, and have pitchforks strapped across their backs. Roofus just walked along, sniffing the ground for the scent of the accused students.

Suddenly, Ironwood narrowed his eyes as he noticed something. A trail of mismatched footprints leading towards a giant rock. And from the top of the rock, he saw the unmistakable glint of the sun reflecting off metal.

Ironwood stopped and drew his pitch fork, causing Roofus and the other two knights to stop in their tracks.

"We must not be seen, or those juvenile delinquents will surely flee, men! Lay low and follow my lead!" hissed Ironwood.

He and his two soldiers began to sniper crawl their way towards the rock while Roofus just casually walked along towards it. As they drew closer and closer to the other side of the rock, all was quiet…

" **YOUR DAY OF RECKONING HAS COME, RAPSCALLIONS!"**

Ironwood and his two soldiers jumped out and started stabbing their pitchforks at random spots of air, not even registering that no one else was there. And with each stab, they just wasted more and more energy. Until finally, they stopped stabbing and screaming, panting as they calmed down from their rage induced shenanigans.

Roofus just stared at them like they were crazy, which is understandable considering what they were just doing. And while the other two soldiers had the decency to look sheepish, Ironwood wasn't quite as embarrassed or humble.

"So, those kids think they can play me for a Tony baloney, eh? But they have yet to feel the wrath of THIS ATLESIAN GENERAL!" declared Ironwood.

Taking a suitcase off of Roofus's back, Ironwood opened it up to reveal a set of odd glasses that are a new prototype Atlas is developing for Police officers to help them find hidden evidence easier. They mostly resemble aviator sunglasses, only the lenses keep shifting between different colors.

He also took out something else that was in the suitcase. One of three large eggs. He too a moment to inspect it before looking for a suitable place to prepare his work.

He made his way over to the car's discarded motor and carefully broke the egg onto it, allowing the heat to cook the egg as if it were on a frying pan. He also dropped the egg shells onto the ground, which were promptly eaten by Roofus. Using the infrared vision and x-ray vision of the glasses, Ironwood watched for any form of deformities that could be evidence.

He then took a canteen and walked over to one of the car seats. Using his mouth to uncork the canteen, Ironwood opened it up and poured out its contents, which just so happened to be olive oil, all over the seat. He took a deep breath and spat the cork out in Roofus's direction.

But this made it get stuck in one of the Boarbatusk's nostrils, causing him to squeal in discomfort. Not that Ironwood seemed to care.

" **Pig! You interrupt my study! Do you think this is party time for nineteen ninety nine?! NO!"** snapped Ironwood.

He then took out an English muffin and began to press it in certain spots on the oil drenched seat. This seemed to be a new way of collecting DNA samples or bacteria that could lead him to the crooks. Looking at the top of the muffin, Ironwood seemed close to what he was looking for.

"Ah ha…!" he mumbled.

A ding from an egg timer was heard and Ironwood turned his attention back to the egg that was cooking on the motor. He touched the center around the yolk a few times to make sure it was fully cooked before carefully peeling it off and placing it on top of the muffin and examining it for evidence.

He seemed VERY close to finding what he needed when Roofus squealed loudly and bowled him over!

Ironwood looked up and witnessed Roofus consuming his evidence with much gusto. Something he was not going to tolerate from this Grimm.

"ROOFUS! Has your think box collapsed?! Don't eat the evidence!" he ordered while pushing the Boarbatusk back by the tusks. "Back, I say…!"

But as he pushed the pig looking Grimm back, he soon found that HE was the one moving backwards. Really fast.

"Wait! Roofus! **NOOO-HOO-HOO!"** cried Ironwood.

He was launched backwards at high speeds and hit his back against the rear bumper of what was once a van. It was more painful than it should've been due to having hit himself on a railing of monkey bars in the same spot.

"Accursed swine…!" snarled Ironwood. "Consider yourself strickled from the annual Atlas military custard bake-off!"

As he got up, though, he noticed the label that had been placed on the bumper. Glaring at the clue he needed to find those bunch of 'juvenile delinquents', he turned his attention back to Roofus. The Boarbatusk had just finished eating the evidence he had gathered, but that doesn't matter. He has something to track them down with easier.

He grabbed Roofus by the snout and pulled him closer while holding the label in front of the Grimm's nose. That sock hat wearing boy's OCD ways were gonna be his downfall!

"I will have those brats on a spit by nightfall!" Ironwood snarled.

As Roofus sniffed the label to try and catch the scent, the Boarbatusk was silently plotting his own escape. He had to help his favorite humans, no matter what!

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **And there's the new chapter, everyone! Hope you like it, and I plan to write more soon! Also, I plan to reboot an old Ben 10 story of mine, so be on the lookout for that. See you next time!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay, before we begin I have something I need to say. STOP LEAVING REVIEWS ASKING WHEN I'M GOING TO UPDATE THIS STORY! YOU ALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE, SO STOP DOING IT! I WILL UPDATE ON MY OWN TIME!**_

 _ ***STILL DON'T OWN RWBY OR ED, EDD N' EDDY!***_

* * *

 _ **Through the Pastures and the Fields We Carry On!**_

* * *

As our group of young protagonists continued their trek to Weiss's brother's house, the atmosphere was surprisingly pleasant. Weiss was leading the charge with Eddy walking next to her, Ed and Ruby trotting close behind, Penny and the rest of their teams making up the bulk and Double D and Blake bringing up the rear.

"Can your brother send me brainwaves too, Weissy?" Ed asked excitedly.

"If only you HAD a brain, Ed." Weiss replied.

"Come on, Weissy, have a heart!" Ed pleaded.

"Yeah, I want your brother to send me brainwaves too, Weiss!" Ruby added.

Yang just laughed at the antics of her boyfriend and her baby sister. It was refreshing to be out here in all this greenery without having to worry about any foul creatures of Grimm, but that didn't mean none of them were on their guard.

"Bark! Bark!" barked Zwei.

"You're right, Zwei. Something tells me that all is not right here." Jaune said to the corgi, who was let out of Ruby's bag just a few minutes ago.

"Courage! Courage, Eddward!" Double D said to himself.

Blake put a comforting hand on Double D's shoulder, getting a smile from the boy. A smile that drew a small blush from the black cat Faunus.

"YEE-HAW!" cried Eddy as he hopped over a fence.

The others just walked through the door, which surprisingly was unlocked, everyone walking down a grassy hill that seemed to give way to a large pasture. Well, more accurately, Ed lost his footing and tumbled down the hill. But Double D and Blake stopped in their tracks when they noticed a sign on the gate.

"Private property? Um, fellows…?" called Double D.

Timidly, he took a step past the gate. Not that Blake entirely blamed him for being so cautious. He told her about the time when all the other kids of the Cul-de-sac began to disregard all of the rules and how it caused him to go temporarily insane. Especially since he ended up calling everyone's parents and telling on them.

In essence, Double D himself ended up breaking the number one rule. Don't squeal.

Once Double D and Blake had crossed the gate, the boy booked it for the others.

"WAIT, STOP!" shouted Double D.

Blake quickly closed the gate and ran off to catch up with everyone else. She too didn't want to risk anything by trespassing on someone else's property.

"GUYS, COME BACK! WE'RE TRESPASSING!" shouted/warned Blake.

But no one seemed to heed her and Double D's warnings. In fact, Weiss just seemed to brush them off as easily as Eddy did.

"Trespass, shmespass! It's a shortcut." Weiss said nonchalantly.

"Hey Weiss, not that I don't approve of the sudden change in personality, but why're you actin' like this?" Eddy asked.

Weiss just smiled and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek before slinging an arm over his shoulder, grabbing a nearby stick in her free hand as she did.

"I'm just happy to finally be free for once! No longer do I have to be Weiss Schnee, heiress of the Schnee Dust Company. Now, I can just be a regular teenage girl! A normal girl with normal knees, as Ruby would say." Weiss explained.

Ruby grinned at that statement as ran a little faster to catch up to her BFF. But Ed just tripped over his own two feet and fell on top of Nora at the base of the hill. He peeled his face up off the ground, letting Nora gulp down a breath of fresh air before they both saw something that made them get stars in their eyes.

"LOOK GUYS! MOO-MOOS THERE! MOO-MOOS EVERYWHERE!" Ed shouted, referring to the cows.

"They're soooo cute!" squealed Nora. "Can we keep on, Ren? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? CAN WE?!"

"No, Nora. We cannot, because these cows already belong to someone." Ren said.

Nora pouted at her childhood friend/not-so-secret crush while Ed just ran ahead, attempting to pet as many cows as he could. That was almost the exact same excuse he gave her when she asked if they could adopt a baby sloth.

"Not to worry, Nora. I'm certain my brother would be more than willing to let you adopt a calf. After all, he's raised a billion cows! A regular stampede of them!" Weiss bragged.

That little bit of information caused Ed and Nora to look at the white haired girl in awe. Even as flies swarmed over Ed's head due to his own natural stench.

"Your brother's got Moo-Moos, Weissy?" Ed asked excitedly.

Weiss frowned as she saw the swarm of flies over their heads and swatted them away with her new walking stick. Clearly, Yang hasn't fully instilled the meaning of good hygiene into her boyfriend yet.

If only it weren't so gosh darned hard to stay mad at the loveable oaf.

"Haven't we poked and prodded fate enough for one day?! I'm frightened!" whimpered Double D.

"Poor little ol' Sockhead. You're so neeve." Eddy said.

"I think you mean 'naive', Eddy." Pyrrha corrected.

"That too."

Weiss skipped along - yes, SKIPPED - with a wide toothy smile on her face. Something that is rarely seen on the face of Beacon's resident Ice Queen.

"Eddy's right. My brother Whitley would NEVER let anything bad happen to me! And I'll tell you what, I'll put in a good word for all of you."

"Thanks Weiss!" Yang said, a smile making its way to her own face.

"Indeed, thank you. Your brother certainly is a kind, upstanding and generous human being." Double D said, feeling a little calmer.

"He's got Moo-Moos, Double D!" Ed said with excitement.

Zwei barked excitedly as he ran around the group with his ever present smile on his face. And he was even happier when Ruby started running alongside him.

"Yeah, well… When exactly are we going to get to your brother's house, Weiss?" Blake asked.

But the girl's response was NOT what any of them were expecting.

"Beats me. I don't know where he lives."

Only Eddy, Ed, Nora, Yang, Ruby, Penny and Zwei weren't affected by that news. While one half of the group kept moving forward, the other half stopped in their tracks. Double D was the first to recover as he ran in front of Weiss and the others.

"PARDON?! Are you saying that all this time you've been leading us to nowhere?!" Double D demanded.

Weiss just used her walking stick to hoist him up by his sock hat and move him to the side before getting rid of the stick.

"No, I'm taking you to Whitley's place, smart guy. You just need to figure out where it is." Weiss said.

"Oh, let me Weissy! I have a good figure!" Ed said.

While everyone else ran off ahead, Double D and Blake facepalmed while the rest of their concerned group sighed and dropped their heads in defeat. It was clear that they weren't going to get through to their friends at this rate.

But that doesn't mean that they weren't going to try. And Jaune was gonna start them off.

"THE HILLS ARE ALIVE, YANG!" shouted Ed.

"Yeah, with the sounds of a handsome man!" Yang said, looping her arms around one of Ed's.

"More like the sounds of an idiot." Eddy quipped.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Jaune ordered in his 'Team Leader Voice'. "We're not taking one more step until we know for sure where your brother is, Weiss!"

Although his tone left no room for argument, Weiss wasn't at all intimidated.

"Did you forget to pay the brain bill?" Weiss asked/quipped.

Just as Jaune was about to reply, Pyrrha caught up and tried to reason with her friends.

"But Weiss, you never even told us that you HAVE a brother until just today! We've got nothing to go on!" Pyrrha said.

In response to this, Weiss and Eddy just ran between their two friends' legs, making them cross their legs and look embarrassed at what just happened. Had these guys no concept of PERSONAL SPACE?!

"Better hurry up, Whitley Bro's a-waitin'!" Eddy said.

Jaune and Pyrrha were still a little bit insecure about what just happened, but had no more time to actually BE embarrassed as they were both bowled over by an overly excited Ruby. The hooded girl was now clinging to Weiss's leg as she looked up at her partner with big doe eyes.

"Weiss, wait! Do you think I could get your brother's autograph?" Ruby asked.

Weiss snickered a bit before pulling out her wallet and taking something out of it.

"Ta-Dah!"

Weiss revealed the item to be a postcard, and on the back was her brother's signature. But we don't see it well enough to actually determine where it was sent from.

"Like this one?" Weiss asked/bragged.

Ruby sat up and suddenly got stars in her eyes as she looked at the piece of paper in front of her.

"Weiss's brother's autograph…!"

Ruby began grinning like a maniac, thinking about how awesome it would be to have one. And then…

 _ ***YOINK!***_

"Thank you!" Ruby said.

You guessed it. She swiped the postcard right out of Weiss's hands. And the white haired girl was not at all pleased by this.

 **"Give it back, Ruby! Whitley sent ME that postcard!"** Weiss yelled.

She pounced on Ruby and initiated a kind of wrestling match with the girl, willing to do almost anything to get the postcard back.

"You're gonna wreck it!" Weiss exclaimed.

"Autograph, Weiss!" whined Ruby.

"I'll autograph your face with my foot! Gimme it!" Weiss growled.

But Ruby managed to hold the card just out of the girl's reach. Clearly she was determined to keep that 'autograph', and wasn't letting it go without a fight.

"DIVE, CAPTAIN! DIVE!" shouted Ed as he bodyslammed the two girls into the ground.

But none of them noticed that Penny had managed to take the postcard from Ruby just before impact. And she was now looking at it with rapt attention.

"A postcard? This could be the very clue we need!" Penny said to herself. "Double D, I must borrow your magnifying glass!"

Weiss was still searching both Ruby and Ed for the postcard, and just opened Ed's jacket sleeve to look for it. Bad idea, as she was hit right in the face by the stench of a thousand dumpsters. Apparently, Sheldon Junior left some lingering smell in that jacket.

She quickly closed the sleeve and looked away to take a breath of fresh air. That's when she saw Penny looking through Double D's magnifying glass as she held her postcard. And that did not sit well with Weiss.

"Hey! Give that back!" Weiss demanded.

She ran off, allowing Ed and Ruby to breath. And oh look, Ed found a crayon.

"A postmark will lead us directly to… DRATS! It's illegible!" Penny said.

But she soon got a face full of angry Weiss as the girl took the postcard back from the robot with a soul.

"You probably smudged it!" Weiss said.

Penny frowned as Weiss walked away with the postcard. Was it something she said?

Meanwhile, Ed was using the crayon that fell out of his pocket to draw on something. But the crayon was promptly taken by Double D.

"May I borrow this, Ed? Thank you." Double D asked, not waiting for a response.

Meanwhile, Eddy had joined up with Weiss who was now carefully putting the postcard back into her wallet. She was still a bit peeved about Ruby and Ed's earlier actions, and didn't mean to snap at Penny like that. Oh well, she'd resolved to apologize later.

But she was suddenly hit in the face by a cow's udder, making her stumble back and fall on her butt.

"ED!" shouted Eddy.

As for Weiss, she just pulled the udder off of her face to reveal that… Oh, so that's what Ed was drawing on. It was a poorly drawn portrait of Weiss with a mustache. Heaven knows why.

"I drew a picture for your brother, Weiss. Think he'll like it?" Ed asked.

Weiss seemed a bit uncomfortable. A few bad memories were beginning to surface, and she needed to get as far away from that picture as possible.

"Uh… Hey Blake, where'd you go?" called Weiss.

That's when Ed lost his balance and got squashed from the neck down by that cow. And the cow didn't seem hurt at all. Although it did moo in slight discomfort.

After walking for a few minutes, Weiss came across the whole group, sans Ed, gathered in front of a spider web. On the web were various leaves that Double D had written on with the crayon he took from Ed.

"Weiss, Blake and I have found several key communicatives we've unknowingly had with your brother!" Double D reported.

"That's right. And among those are his shuddersome blizzard Dust recipes, his scandalous scams, oh and my favorite, merciless pranks on April first. Together with several other contentious, callous cons lead us to believe that your brother's quite the jokester." Blake reported.

"You'd better believe it! He's the king, baby!" Weiss said.

She flicked Blake in the nose, making the cat Faunus shoot an annoyed look at the Schnee heiress. She's been spending WAY too much time with Eddy.

"Yes, well… Where might one groom this tendency to pranks and puerile practical jokes?" Blake asked.

In the background, Ed was just looking on with that same stupid grin he usually has on his face. But he was in fact listening to everything that had been said… And he got a brainstorm.

 **"I GOT IT!"** yelled Ed.

He took out a comic book and slapped it on the spider web for everyone to see.

"It says so in my comic book! 'Pranks and puerile practical jokes at the Honeybrook Gag Factory'." Ed said while reading the Ad aloud.

"My, what a strange coincidence." Penny said offhandedly.

Right before Nora ripped the comic off the web with wide eyes and a scowl on her face.

"HONEYBROOK?!" she asked incredulously.

She started grumbling something about 'sloth haters' and 'honey gulpin' know-it-alls' as she read the ad. It seems like there's bad blood between the valkyrie and this strange village.

"Nuh-uh, Nora!" Ed said, taking back his comic. "No autograph, no comic book!"

Nora facepalmed at Ed's stupidity. She doesn't want the comic, if anything, she wants pancakes! But she won't be getting any since Ren doesn't have the ingredients or a place to make them. That's when an anime lightbulb appeared over Yang's head.

"WAIT, THAT'S IT WEISS! Your brother might work at the Gag Factory! Or at the very least, be a regular customer!" Yang theorized.

That caused Weiss's grin to return ten fold. So much so, she could put the Joker to shame.

"I bet he's there right now!" Weiss said.

"OH BOY, OH BOY! I FORGET WHAT WE'RE DOING!" shouted Ed, wagging his butt like Zwei does his tail.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **I'm sorry for yelling earlier, but I just HAD to get that out of my system. You guys have GOT to understand that I don't like getting reviews that ask when a story is going to be updated. Especially if you spam those reviews. And about the poll for my Jaune 23 story. I've decided to just flip a coin on that one. Won't happen until later though, so there's still time. See ya next chapter!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Been a while, I know. But I'm finally here with the newest chapter of this story. Hope you guys enjoy it.**_

 _ ***I still don't own RWBY or Ed, Edd n' Eddy!***_

* * *

 _ **Vengeful Mothers and a Sister!**_

* * *

Running out of Vale was Cinder and her team, cackling like the evil little termites they are. Mercury had just gotten his legs repaired and was now able to run with them. Unfortunately, they ran into a few unexpected problems.

All of RWBY, JNPR and EEE becoming fugitives because of General Ironwood and his stubborn, bull headed nature was not part of the original plan. They needed Pyrrha Nikos, Ozpin's chosen candidate to become the next Fall Maiden, to lead them to the resting place of Amber so that Cinder could kill her and take the rest of the Fall Maiden's power before they launched the invasion. Now, they need to report back to their mistress, Salem, and report to her that there's been a slight change in plans.

But as soon as Mercury saw what was coming into view, he froze midstep. Emerald and Cinder saw the hesitance in his eyes, not understanding why he's so afraid of trailer parks.

I mean, that incident involving the Kankers couldn't have been THAT traumatic, right?

"What's the matter, Mercury?" Cinder asked.

"I can't go in there, Cinder! I still have bad dreams, and I needed to buy a mattress cover!"

Mercury had never sounded so afraid in all the time Cinder's known him, but she didn't care. They have to get to Salem and report to her right away! And keep her from being annoyed to death by Tyrian.

"Okay, but you're REALLY gonna miss a doozy!" Emerald said.

While she and Cinder knew he'd take the bait, they just ran off into the trailer park and left Mercury to his thoughts. The gray haired boy seemed to be rather conflicted about what to do in this situation. On one hand, trailer parks bring up bad memories for him. On the other hand… Salem is way scarier than any trailer park!

"I hope Salem knocks Watts' teeth out!" Mercury said to himself. "WAIT FOR ME, GIRLS!"

And so, he ran off after his female followers of Salem. However, in his earlier hesitation, he failed to realize that they went right instead of left at the fork in the road. While Mercury looked around, he failed to see a large rock in the road.

His foot got caught on the rock, causing him to trip and catapult off of a lawn chair and knock over a wheelbarrow of dirty clothes. Mercury was buried under them and failed to see who the clothes belonged to. Only seeing that they were women's clothes.

As it turns out, these clothes belong to three very deadly women. The first of whom is Raven Branwen, Yang's mother. Then there's Kali Belladonna, a black cat Faunus and mother to Blake. And finally, there's Atlesian Military Specialist, Winter Schnee. Weiss's older sister.

The three were currently dressed in some casual clothes as they did their laundry the old fashioned way.

But as Winter turned around to get some more of their clothes, she saw that the wheelbarrow they were using to hold their dirty laundry had been knocked over somehow. Raven and Kali noticed this as well, and they were not too happy about it.

"Oh, way to go, Winter!" snapped Kali.

"Yeah! As if our laundry wasn't dirty enough!" Raven said.

She picked up a can of pain and shouted "Quit holding up the line!"

Winter had to duck as the paint can sailed past her, having almost hit her in the face. She certainly wasn't happy about getting such treatment from her fellow females.

"Watch it, Raven!" she snapped back.

But she grunted in pain as the paint can bounced off the Wheelbarrow handle and hit her in the back of the head. But she quickly shook it off.

"That didn't even hurt." Winter said.

However, she soon found herself eating those words as Kali struck her over the head with an oar that she was using to clean their clothes in a metal tub before picking up a few shirts with it and stirring them into the soapy water. Her ears were droopy and twitching a bit, showing her growing irritation.

"Get back to work, granny hair! My skivvies ain't gonna wash themselves!" she growled.

Winter sat up and glared at the other two women before deciding to save herself any further headaches and just get back to work.

"Ha! Granny hair. Good one, Kali." laughed Raven.

Mercury peeked out from under the clothes and began trembling at the sight of the three infinitely powerful women before him.

He watched as Kali took a shirt out of the water and handed it to Raven. Throwing a couple of clothespins like kunai knives, she effortlessly hung the shirt up on the wire to drip dry. Seeing Winter about to come over, he quickly ducked back under the clothes.

"If you two weren't such fashion hogs, there wouldn't be all this laundry to do." Winter said.

She picked up a few garments without looking before grabbing Mercury by his pants and dragging him out of the pile. But as soon as she and the other women saw him, especially with one of Raven's bras on his head, their eyes were filled with murder.

 **"PERVERT!"**

 **"NOT IN THE FACE! NOT IN THE FACE!"**

And so ends the escapades of one of our plucky little antagonists as he was tortured for information by the three deranged and vengeful women.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

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 _ **Don't forget to vote on the poll I have posted on my profile. I need those to continue one of my other stories. See you all in my next chapter!**_


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